Day 23

Posted: December 20, 2010 in Opinion

Day 23, Something you wish you had done in your life.

I wish I had studied computing at college rather than business.

I wish I had the confidence to walk away from a certain someone

I wish I had asked my parents if I could go to  Gymnastics class as a kid, and not keep my desire a secret cos they had little money

I wish all kinds of things, but like I said in the blog yesterday, there’s no point dwelling on the past, you can’t change it.


Days 21 & 22

Posted: December 19, 2010 in Opinion

Day 21, (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

It’s simple, I would go and see them, there is no way I would out the fight first, so to speak. With any fight/argument I try to resolve the issue – it’s no good hanging on to things, life is too short; have the argument, get it out in the open and be done with it, or don’t bring it up at all.

Day 22, Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

There are a few things I wish I hadn’t done, or handled differently, but life is a journey and a learning process. If I hadn’t done ‘That’ for example, I don’t know how things would have turned out, where I am in my life right now is pretty good, could be better, but couldn’t it always? If I had of done things differently, or not at all, then I wouldn’t be where I am today. Every action has a reaction, an’ all that.

We cannot change the past, we can regret and wish we had done things another way, but what’s the point in dwelling? It won’t change anything. We should be thankful for what we have and strive to learn from our mistakes.


I’m Bendy

Posted: December 17, 2010 in Opinion

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, I probably have, but I’m not going to sift thro previous bleatings of mine to find out (How lazy!)… I’m bendy, my joints are very flexible and many bend further than they should, or in a strange direction.

For years some of my party tricks included such things – and yes, I could even get my legs over my shoulders – I haven’t tried that for a fair while, and I’m not about to!

A good thing about being bendy is that rather than breaking bones, things have just come out of joint and popped back in a few days later.

I was on a bmx ramp (haha) a few years ago and I came crashing down with a thud, I really should have broken my wrist, the way I landed, but I didn’t, it just hurt quite a bit was bruised and eventually just clicked back in (So did some bones in my palm – so weird!)

The bad thing is, and a Doctor told me this as I was growing up that ‘It will cause you problems when you get older’. Just over a week ago it hurt to walk, my right knee decided to misbehave and I was limping a fair bit, down hill was terrible and I could have cried; ibuprofen helped and now the pain has 99% gone – also, I was showing a mate a dance I’d helped – my knee just decided to go back in partially, or do whatever it should have been doing – a bit later, I tried it again, and it worked AGAIN!! Suffice to say since then, the old knee has been 99% ok and I haven’t cursed it.

Today, it was my thumbs turn – aaannnddd it still is my thumbs turn – I think it’s just coincidence that the two have happened in such a short  space of time, it’s not usually that often at all.

I was on my lunch  and my right thumb just decided to hurt, it hurts to move it and I can’t even type using it – sure I’ve wriggled it in all directions and taken painkillers – it’s not the end of the world, the pain does make me gasp and I find myself gritting my teeth, but I know that by sometime next week, all will be forgotten cos my thumb would have gone back to where it should have been.

I’m grateful that things aren’t any worse, they always could be; I could have broken my wrist and maybe some other joints that day on the ramp in Newcastle, and I could decide to be off work with my thumb – but what’s the point? I’m used to this so I’ll plod on, be merry and it will fix itself in no time… just don’t expect a quick response to a text!! (Ouch!)

Days 19 & 20

Posted: December 17, 2010 in Opinion

My apologies for not blogging yesterday, I was so tired when I got home from work that I just had a nap – then when I got in from rehearsing my internet refused to work after about half an hour, it wasn’t just me that had this problem, but nevertheless it was frustrating.

So here we go with 2 days worth of stuff:

Day 19, What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Religion can be a life-saver and certainly something to lift us and give us inspiration, something to believe in, and something that causes many wars. For me, religion, or more specifically Christianity is embedded within me, and gives me hope, love, joy and a ‘Code’ to live by.

Day 20, Your views on drugs and alcohol.

On a night out I once met a couple who were really nice, pleasant people who me and t’other half got on with. They seemed very much in love and just pretty genuine. Forward a year later and they’d split, he’d kicked her out for a reason that escapes me just now and she had turned to alcohol.

She used to dress elegantly and I looked up to her in some respects… When I saw her I got a real shock, she was stick-thin and obviously drunk, her clothes were a mess and her handbag had a gaping hole in it, she brought a bottle of whisky every night and her character changed.

I know not everyone is like this, but I couldn’t believe how this lovely lady had changed, I guess it was her coping mechanism, but still, it was awful.

Alcohol is fine if drunk in moderation, I hardly ever drink to be honest – I hardly fancy it but it can be a pleasure now and then, or a terror as that poor lady discovered.

When it comes to drugs, my views are different from that of alcohol – they shouldn’t be touched, in my opinion the only drugs people should have are ones used for medical purposes, paracetamol, ibuprofen and the like, and that which is prescribed by a doctor.

Goodness knows what that stuff does to your body – now and in the future.


Day 18

Posted: December 15, 2010 in Opinion

Day 18, Your views on gay marriage.

People should be able to marry  who they choose so what if 2 people of the same sex want to get married? Makes no difference to me.

Maybe I’m biased, if I marry it will be to another woman, it feels natural to love another woman.

I was on BBC Radio Newcastle earlier this year after the pope decided to make some stupid comments about gay people – who does he think he is? He’s s’posed to be a representative of Christ, yet he does not spread a message of love like Christ, his comments encourage hatred and intolerance rather than love and acceptance.

At a time when there are so few people going to church, it really is beyond me why he thinks it’s ok to push even more people away.

I was not turned away by Christ when I came out, in fact during the time I prayed a lot and  my faith deepened; God continues to bless me in so many ways, I know he hasn’t and would never turn his back on me.

I hope the pope realises this, that everyone is equal – everyone.

Marry who you want to marry, be happy and tolerant of others.

Day 17

Posted: December 14, 2010 in Books, Opinion

Day 17, A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

A book that changed my views on something was ‘Emotional Intelligence’ by Daniel Goleman; I’d heard about it on tv and decided to give it a read.. til then I had always felt lacking in the IQ department, my (Lovely) older Brother is very clever and I was told I was not as clever as him – I don’t think this was meant to hurt as it did, just a passing comment that these days would probably be shrugged off.

I was only top of the class in spelling at primary school and drama at high school, and was never a whizz at Maths like my sibling. At school I didn’t do too great, but I was depressed and perhaps could have done better.

When I read E.I it felt as if it was ok not to be very clever, in a previous post I’ve written how I can manipulate people’s emotions for the better (But does that mean I’m smart or have high E.I?) and reading this book certainly made me feel better about being able to do that – I no longer felt as restricted as I had and that perhaps it was even ok to be me.

I think I should probably get another copy and read this again, see what the older and mayyyyybeeeeee slightly wiser me makes of it this time round…

‘There was a time when IQ was considered the leading determinant of success. In this fascinating book, based on brain and behavioural research, Daniel Goleman argues that our IQ- idolising view of intelligence is far too narrow. Instead, Goleman makes the case for “emotional intelligence” being the strongest indicator of human success. He defines emotional intelligence in terms of self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, empathy and the ability to love and be loved by friends, partners, and family members. People who possess high emotional intelligence are the people who truly succeed in work as well as play, building flourishing careers and lasting, meaningful relationships. Because emotional intelligence isn’t fixed at birth, Goleman outlines how adults as well as parents of young children can sow the seeds. —’

I have an IQ of 118, which apparently is ok, there’s not much you can do to change it – unless you take the test again – goes up each time I heard *Thinks about doing one a week* 🙂

So I’m not that clever, so I don’t know much about algebra and formulae, php’s and programming stuff, I guess I can always learn, for now tho, I’m content to use positive emotions to guide me thro life.

Day 16

Posted: December 13, 2010 in Opinion

Day 16, Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I could quite easily live without the issues I have re: eating, you would think by now that I would have sorted myself out and gotten over whatever the heck it is that brings me challenges when so many people seem to have no problems with food whatsoever.

These days I just don’t have the willpower to go without food any more, there were times when I was able to starve myself, but either common sense has prevailed or willpower has gone. I guess it’s a good thing tho, because I want to take care of myself, it’s just that at times it’s so hard to eat – I make myself get something, I know I won’t enjoy it, but at those times I eat because I have to rather than want to.

It’s been hard of late to enjoy food and I’ve found myself eating because I have to, I have a life to live and I’m sure as heck not gonna let ‘This’ get in the way – or try not to, in any case.

It is about control, it is about being scared of putting on weight, it is about feeling insecure, but it is about time I got a grip and got over it, but as someone special said the other day when I expressed my frustration about not ‘Getting over it’ ‘Maybe it’s something that’s just there, rather than being something you have to get over’ and that hit home. I guess I will always have an issue with food, I admit even when I’m ok it’s always at the back of my mind.

I know how to eat properly, I know what certain foods do and which ones to avoid – heck I could probably be a dietician I know so much…but the feelings I get – where did they come from?

When I was very young, I mean so young I was still in a high-chair, I stopped eating, my poor Mother tried everything, she took me to a Doctor who told her to put food in front of me and leave it there rather than feed me. It worked, why? I don’t know.

Sometimes I can just get on with things and not have ‘This’ as an issue, sometimes it rears its ugly head and won’t leave me alone, but I eat, despite not enjoying it and I get on with my day. I don’t want to be stick-thin, I want to be healthy and I pray that I always have this determination to be healthy and to keep eating regardless of whatever it is that brings these feelings on.

Just now, as I write, I’m ok, I’m struggling slightly, but I’m sure as heck not dieting; I’m trying to eat healthily and enjoy my food (I had a lovely chicken dish yesterday and will buy it again).

I have low blood sugar, so I have to eat frequently, I guess it’s a blessing in some respects.